In today’s hyper-connected world, technology promises opportunity, creativity, and community, this can be seen through the rapid growth of content creators on platforms like TikTok and Instagram. But for many young girls and women, it also opens a door to something far darker: the non-consensual sharing of their images, videos, and personal data. It’s a violation that cuts deeply and leaves emotional scars long after the posts disappear or are pulled down.

My own curiosity about this issue started in the most unexpected way, a random conversation with my mother on young women in the entertainment industry especially video vixens. We were talking about it, and the topic  shifted to how easily young women’s private moments can be taken advantage of. She told me stories she’d heard and read about, warnings she carried, and the fear mothers have that one mistake online could haunt their daughters for years. That conversation stayed with me and pushed me down a rabbit hole of research, not because I wanted to write a captivating article, but because I suddenly understood how personal and fragile this digital world is for young women. It made the topic real.

Across Kenyan universities, including insights highlighted during Kibabii University’s 2nd National Conference on Technology-Facilitated Gender-Based Violence, a painful pattern is emerging. The digital spaces young women use for learning, entertainment, and self-expression are the same spaces where they feel the most vulnerable. Studies by UNFPA show that almost 90% of tertiary students witness online gender-based violence, and nearly 40% experience it firsthand. Although online attacks affect many people, young women face the heaviest burden. Sometimes it even feels like the world is out to get us.

One of the most cruel forms of this abuse is the unveiling of non-consensual data like photos or videos shared without permission, private conversations leaked, or intimate media weaponized to embarrass, shame, or control women. It doesn’t matter whether the content was shared with someone trusted or taken without consent. Some young women even get tricked and experience phishing firsthand. And once the data is online, it feels like their privacy is shattered forever.

What makes this harm devastating is how quickly it spreads. A single screenshot can travel through WhatsApp groups, Telegram channels, or social media pages in minutes. And in many Kenyan households, the biggest fear is that the content might land in the hands of a family member. Unlike physical forms of violence, where survivors can walk away from the scene, online violations follow them everywhere….on their phones, in classrooms, and in the whispers of peers who saw content they were never meant to see. It’s an endless rumination of embarrassment.

Emotionally, the impact is overwhelming. From conversations I’ve had, young women often feel: Betrayed, especially when the leak comes from an ex or a friend, Exposed, as if their bodies or private thoughts are now public property, Ashamed, Fearful and untrusting, unsure who has seen the content or what might happen next, and even Isolated, withdrawing from friends and family under the weight of judgement.

A single incident can trigger severe anxiety, depression, panic attacks, loss of confidence, obsessive worry, or long-term trauma. Some students drop out. Others move institutions. A few consider self-harm. The internet may forget fast, but the survivor rarely does.

What makes it harder, is the culture around these cases. Instead of support, young women are often blamed, sometimes by the very people who should protect them. Questions like “Why did you take that photo?” or “Why were you so careless?” shift responsibility away from the perpetrator and onto the victim, deepening emotional wounds.

Technology amplifies these harms through anonymity, speed, and reach. Platforms lack strong reporting systems; institutions struggle to respond; the law moves slowly. Many survivors walk this journey alone.

But the conversation is changing. Universities, researchers, and advocacy groups are finally calling this what it is: technology-facilitated gender-based violence. Not “online drama.” Not “a mistake.” Abuse.

To protect young women, we need stronger digital literacy, better campus reporting structures, and real accountability. Just as importantly, we need compassion from friends who listen without judging, institutions that respond instead of dismissing, and online communities that condemn cruelty.

Technology doesn’t have to be a trap. With awareness and action, it can become safer for all of us. But first, we must listen to the women who’ve been hurt, acknowledge their pain, and ensure no one else goes through the same.

To all my ladies: if you know someone going through this, be a soft landing for them. Be the safe space you would want. Spread awareness. Stand against harm. Because honestly, shouldn’t we always protect our own? Additionally, to check if a website or link or file is real, use VirusTotal to check validity of any material before use. Good luck ladies and take care!